As a single person in your twenties, dating is fun. You meet new people, experience new things, and there is no pressure to settle down. Once you hit 30′s it is a completely different ball game. You are attracting great men, but now, you are looking for something more serious, and each relationship that doesn’t work is a disappointment. Friends and family start to ask when you are going to get married and settle down They start fixing you up with their single friends, and everyone is eager to play match maker.
Here is a real life funny story. (Thanks Grandma!) I was at my grandmother’s house with a friend, who happened to be a guy. My 92 year old grandmother smiles warmly at us, and then asks me in Chinese, “Is he your boyfriend?” “No Grandma, he is just a friend.” She replies, “Well can you just date him and get married already? Are you waiting for me to die or something before you get married?? Why can’t you just marry HIM?”
How is that for guilt trip?
The truth is, most of us single in our 30′s are looking to attract a great man or woman to settle down with. For some of us, we were focusing on getting our careers going first before we make that commitment. For others, we just weren’t ready to for it yet. Perhaps you were in a long term relationship, and things didn’t work out, and all of a sudden, you find yourself in the singles market again. Whatever the case may be, it becomes harder and harder to open your heart to love, fearing that guy or girl will break your heart. For many of us, we have gone through failed relationships, heartaches, divorces, and the thought of going through it again is too much.
So the questions is, should you be cautious and guarded when you start dating a new person to protect your heart, or should you be open and honest and risk getting hurt again?
Here is my advice.
Take that risk of getting hurt again and be open and honest.
The truth is, it is scary to open yourself to a new man or woman in your life. Like Forrest Gump once said, “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get.” When you open a box of chocolates, they all look amazing. You take the first bite, and one of two things can happen. Either it wasn’t the right flavor you had in mind, or it was better than you ever imagined. Dating is the same thing. When you first meet a man, you are attracted to him, but you haven’t really gotten to know him yet. Thing look great on the surface, just like a box of chocolates. After you get to know him better, or take that first bite, you have a better idea on what you are getting.
With love, there is always a risk that he or she will break your heart. But the rewards of being in an open and honest relationship is worth the risk. It is just like riding a bike. Imagine riding a bike uphill to climb a mountain. Half way through, your legs are burning, you are out of breath, and you just want to quit. You push through, telling yourself that the view is worth it, and then you go over the peak of the mountain, and see the most breathtaking view. You relax, cruise down hill, enjoying the view. Yes, you say to yourself, the ride was worth it. Just like riding a bike uphill, when you are looking for that special someone, things may be difficult and you may want to quit. Just hang in there, and enjoy the ride. So what if he wasn’t the right person to settle down with? You two shared some great memories, and take that good from that relationship and keep moving forward.
The ride is worth it. =)
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