Before I tell you what the biggest dating mistake women make, I will share with you a story that may sound familiar…
You are online dating and you see a profile of a guy that you totally like. You email him, and he responses! A few witty messages are exchanged, and then you have a few great phone conversations. He asks you on a first date for that weekend.
You have butterflies all week, and spend hours looking for that perfect first date outfit. and things couldn’t be better! The two of you are having a great time, laughing together, holding hands, and at the end of the date, he kisses you (and he is a great kisser!). He asks you out again for the next weekend, and of course, you say yes.
The next week, he calls you a few times just to see how you are doing, and you can see yourself with him. You start picturing him in your life, and begin making room for him in your schedule, changing your “girl’s night out” from Wed to Thurs, since he plays flag football on Thurs, and you want to be available if he ask you out on Wednesdays. You have a great few dates, and he says he will call. But he doesn’t. You wait a few days, and decide to check the online dating site and sees that he is ONLINE NOW, but he doesn’t message you. Why is he not contacting you? Did you do something wrong?
The next few days, you replay everything he said (and you said) over and over, trying to figure out what went wrong. Ladies, let me fill you in on the biggest mistake that women make in online dating:
We “fantasize” about the relationship we are going to have with a guy that is not our boyfriend yet. And we get our hearts broken is because his behavior SURPRISED us.
It’s really that simple. After all, you were fine before you met him, and you have only know him for a few weeks. It is not enough time to develop deep feelings for him yet. We are heart broken by the loss of our “fantasy” of the relationship that didn’t happen according to our plans.
Remember, just because a man is really interested in you, sleeps with you, and even acts like a future boyfriend doesn’t mean that he is not doing the EXACT SAME THING with another woman simultaneously. So next time when you are online and see a new potential prospect, keep things in a healthy perspective. He is not your boyfriend until he IS your boyfriend. Until then, each promising man is not actually “real.” He is merely hope, potential and fantasy.
Remember this important rule, and you will save yourself from a lot of disappointment and heartache. Also, just because you had a great date with one guy doesn’t mean you can’t take other guys too. One of the best things about online dating is having access to many great single men. Online dating is a great tool, and remember to have fun, and don’t give up. In the meantime, learn how to be a better partner, and work on yourself, so when you meet Mr. Right, you are ready too. Your perfect man is out there. =)