He’s just not that into you

We have all heard that one before.  Ever since the popular book, “He’s just not that into you”, (later turned into a hit movie featuring an all star cast including Scarlett Johannson), this phrase seems to describe the following scenario:


You meet a cute guy and it goes great.

But then, for some odd reason,

you never hear from him again.

Well ladies, “He’s just not that into you.”



But how can you tell when he is into you?  What are the signs when a guy IS into you?  How can you tell when a man likes you?  Here are the signs of when a guy is into you:


Physical contact.  This is a very good sign that the man likes you.   When a guy finds you attractive, he will automatically be closer to you physical, leaning in closer to you, finding reasons to touch your arm during conversation, giving you a hug, mirroring your body position.   All these are signs that a man is interested in a woman.


Eye contact. Say he is across the room.  The quick glance indicates they’ve caught you eye. Multiple glances indicate they’ve intrigued you. And prolonged mutual eye contact indicates you’re both interested in meeting one another. The key to prolonged eye contact is to casually meet their gaze and hold it a little longer than socially appropriate. This is usually an invitation for you to approach.  Now, if he is talking to you, does he look at you straight in the eye, or is he scanning the room?   When a man is interested in a woman, he tends to be focused on her, looking at her in the eyes.  If he is scanning the room, or glances away when another woman walks by, he is probably not that into you.


Teasing.  Yes ladies, the boys did it in elementary school and they are still doing it now.  The key is “playful teasing”.   When a man is flirting with you (or when you are flirting back) he will often through in a few playful verbal jabs.  Now ladies, use you’re your intuition on this one.   You will know when it is in good fun, or if he is being hurtful.  The goal is to build sexual tension – not piss a woman off.   He may tease you on unimportant or silly things like your shoes, how you have a cute laugh, but always in a playful manner.  If the teasing is offensive, it’s time to walk way.


Listening. When a man is really interested, he listens to you.  He asks personal questions about you, where you grew up, what you are interested in.  He is active in the communication process, listening to you and responding appropriately.  He can comment intelligently on the conversation, and maintains eye contact with you.  He smiles, and gives you listening cues, such as nodding his head.   When a guy really likes a woman, he is focused on her, and what she is saying.


Laughter. If there is a lot of laughter going on, that is a great sign.  Laughter is a great flirting tool and people love others who laugh at their jokes and silly stories. It makes the feel important. It makes them feel like an entertainer. Flirts know this and laugh at every opportunity (when appropriate).


Most guys will within a few days (they wait a few days so they don’t seem desperate), and will call to make a date.  But ladies, trust your instincts.  If it feels like he is blowing you off, he probably is.  Cut your losses and move on.  There are plenty of great single men out there for you to meet.


Your Prince Charming is out there…


Learn how to keep him once you meet him…click here for more info.

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