What is a perfect woman? Does she look like a supermodel with long legs and perky breast? We have all been to a party and seen a group of men flocked around a woman and they seem enraptured by her. There are more attractive women in the room, but for some reason, the men are not able to take their attention away from her. What is her secret? What qualities make for a perfect woman? Why are some women more attractive to men than other women?
The truth is men are attracted to good looks, but attractiveness is only one of the factors. Personality and the ability to make a man feel good about himself is far more important than looks alone. When it comes to personality, men have a different perspective of what is ideal compared to a woman. A woman wants a man who makes her laugh. A man, on the other hand, wants a woman who thinks he is funny, and adores his sense of humor! A woman may want a charismatic and witty conversation. A man just wants to be able to have a comfortable conversation with a woman; he doesn’t care about her being charismatic or witty. There may be a few men that want a witty woman, but ALL men want a woman who has an easygoing personality that makes him comfortable to be around her, versus a high strung and charismatic personality. Most men will prefer to be with an average looking girl with a wonderful personality than a gorgeous woman who is unpleasant to be around.
The type of woman men adore is the one who makes him feel good about himself. She is supportive and genuinely cares about him. How a man interprets “caring” is different from what how woman usually shows it. When a woman cares about a man, she begins to try to perfect him, and make him into a better person. To a man, that is nagging. If you ask men what habits about his significant other he wishes he could change, 9 out of 10 times “stop the constant nagging” always comes up. So how do you show him you care about him without him considering it as nagging? Many relationship experts agree using an “I” statement versus a “You” statement is the best approach. The “I” statement voices YOUR concern and feelings, where as a “You” statement points the finger at him.
Here is an example of a “You” statement:
Your husband or boyfriend does not like driving with his seat belt on. You say to him, “You always drive so recklessly. Why don’t you just wear a seat belt?”
He replies, “ I just don’t like the way it feels.”
You respond,” But you will get pulled over, and get a ticket. Or worse, you could get in an accident and die. You are always so irresponsible.”
He says, “ Why are you always nagging about this? Nothing is going to happen to me.” You respond, “ I am not nagging.”
The problem with “You” statements is it doesn’t lead to either party wanting to see the other person’s perspective. In fact, it causes the other person to hold on more firmly to their belief.
Here is an example of an “I” statement:
You say to him, “When you drive without a seat belt, I am worried that you are going to get hurt. It is not that I think you are a bad driver; I am just worried about someone hitting you. I understand that it may be a bit uncomfortable, but would you consider wearing it so I won’t be anxious when you drive? I care about you and would feel better knowing you are safe.”
He says, “ I would wear it, but it feels like it is choking me.”
You reply, “If we can find a way to make it feel better on, would you wear it?” He says, “Sure honey, if it means that much to you.”
Using an “I” statement and expressing your feelings doesn’t make you weak. In fact, it makes you a stronger partner and allows the two of you to reach a win-win situation without ever having to nag or argue. It helps the two of you collaborate to reach an agreement.
The basic structure of an “I” statement is: “When you do _______(insert what is bothering you_____________, I feel
_______(insert how you feel and why it makes you feel that way______.”
By using this structure, you are not pointing fingers; You are simply sharing your feelings with him without nagging or making him feel bad about it. Remember the kind of woman a man adores is one that makes him feel good about himself.
Men want a woman who has an easy going personality and makes him feel good about himself. While looks are important to a man, if a woman has an unpleasant personality or doesn’t make him feel good when he is around her, it doesn’t matter if she is a supermodel, he will not stay around very long. The perfect woman knows what really attracts men and makes him stick around is someone who is both physically and emotionally charming. Beauty alone is not enough. Having a great personality who also makes him feel good around you is the key to being the perfect woman.